Thursday, October 8, 2009

Fire Fire Burning Bright


The fire still burns. I have been trying to call my parents all day, and as luck would have it they aren't home or they are avoiding the call. My parents have not called me once since the fire began, I am not surprised but I am a little angry. I talk to my parents once every month or two for about 10 mins. They really aren't interested in me as a person and I know for a fact I wasn't planned. My father wasn't suppose to be able to get anyone pregnant but I guess he had one lucky shot in him, too bad that shot came when he was climbing the ladder towards 40. My mother had me when she was 35 years-old and my father was 39. They weren't bad parents; however, not being bad does not qualify one as being good. My parents did the minimum, they loved me but weren't affectionate, I have no idea if they were ever proud or angry, I don't know if I every really gave them cause either way. I guess you could say they were more like care takers. It'ss pretty sad but when I was in Jr. High I told some friends I had that they were my grandparents and that my mom and dad had died in a car crash when I was a baby. I just didn't want to admit that these old people who didn't do much more then blink at me were my parents. I had seen other parents of course and they just didn't fit the bill.


So why would I be angry at them for not calling or answering? This is something I should expect I know, but its easier to be mad at them then at my friends. My friends for a long time have been my true family, and I don't want to be angry with them for going away, being married or being with their families at a time like this. I feel very abandoned right now. The stupid city is burning down around my ears, and I feel trapped, I have no one to call and no where to go.


Okay I have whined for the last 20 minutes, poor me, my friends are gone, and my parents suck...boohoo. It could be worse my house is still standing I have the important things ready if I need to leave. I am not leaving unless I have to. This is my house I still owe tons of money on it, if its going to burn down I want to watch it catch with my own eyes before I leave it.

I think I am going to go find out where Aaron (one of my few remaining friends in the area)is. I have called and called him over the past few days and no answer, I even called his wife's phone and nothing. I am going to pound on his door and impose, I am sick of being couped up and alone. A drive will be nice, plus I can see how far the fire has spread and exactly what I am dealing with. It is going to be another long day.

Tranquilnow@gmail.com
~Johnny~
Otter Pop blues